I had to remove graffiti off my garage doors as someone painted Slut, Whore and Bitch on it several times. People in town looked at me a just sneered in disgust at me. Men kept hitting on me for a fuck date when their wives weren’t around. I hadn’t taken a lover since the day my husband died and would never again either. I finally had to move a couple hours drive away where I wasn’t known by anyone and only the boys, my brother and his wife knew where I lived now. I had attempted suicide twice and was seeing a therapist, taking anti-depressants daily and going to sex addiction group meetings. I was losing weight and looking very old now for a woman that was only 40, I looked 60. I didn’t care anymore, I wanted to die. Al and Julie visited with me weekly and tried to snap me out of the funk I was in. Without my boys I didn’t have the will to live anymore. I was responsible for the deaths of 10 young men and it ate at my very soul. Now on the anniversary of Robert’s death I am looking. I want to be in love like that ... to look at someone the way you look at him. With the way my life is going, I'm beginning to think I never will." Any kids?" asked John."None. We've just never been ready; at least that's what we've always told ourselves. Our careers always came first, and now here I am, thirty-one years old, going on sixty."Touching her arm, Summer gently offered, "You're very beautiful, and only thirty-one. You can still fall in love and have children." Your husband must be an idiot, if you don't mind my saying so," added John.Although Christina laughed, her eyes were filled with tears. "Thank you, both of you," she whispered, accepting a napkin from Summer. As she dabbed her cheeks, she smiled wanly. "See? Look at me. Next week is our ninth wedding anniversary, and I'm all alone ... on a stupid vacation trip to Mexico. When someone I just met says something nice to me, I fall apart like a silly schoolgirl. God, I'm a total wreck."Summer took her hand. "Christina,.
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